resurse

Trust in me, just in me
Shut your eyes and trust in me
You can sleep safe and sound
Knowing I am around

Slip into silent slumber
Sail on a silver mist
Slowly and surely your senses
Will cease to resist

Trust in me, just in me
Shut your eyes and trust in me

We're your friends
We're your friends
We're your friends to the bitter end

When you're alone
Who comes around
To pluck you up
When you are down
And when you're outside, looking in
Who's there to open the door?
That's what friends are for!

Who's always eager to extend
A friendly claw?
That's what friends are for!

And when you're lost in dire need
Who's at your side at lightning speed?
We're friends of every creature
Comin' down the pike
In fact we never met an animal
We didn't like, didn't like

So you can see
We're friends in need
And friends in need
Are friends indeed
We'll keep you safe
In the jungle forevermore
That's what friends are for!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life

Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn't be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life

Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue ?

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

So just try and relax, yeah cool it
Fall apart in my backyard
'Cause let me tell you something little britches
If you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You're working too hard

And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you

Cu cativa ani in urma, la facultatea de Inginerie Chimica a Universitatii din Oklahoma la examenul de "Termodinamica, Caldura si Transfer de Masa", dr. Schlambaug profesor de termodinamica a dat urmatorul subiect de examen: "Cum este iadul: exoterm sau endoterm? Motivati si argumentati".

Simtind caracterul cu umor al temei, majoritatea studentilor au incercat sa demonstreze "ceva" folosind legea lui Boyle sau alte legi ale termodinamicii.

Studentul Michael Colb a dat insa urmatorul raspuns original:


In primul rand trebuie postulat ca "daca sufletul exista, el trebuie sa aiba in mod obligatoriu o masa proprie". Daca sufletul are o anumita masa atunci si un mol de suflete trebuie sa aiba o anumita masa molara. Pentru a stabili daca in iad avem sau nu de a face cu un transfer de masa de suflete, trebuie determinat in ce proportie ajung sufletele in iad si in ce masura mai pleaca ele de acolo. Este justificat sa acceptam ipoteza conform careia " toate sufletele ajung in iad si ele nu mai pleaca de acolo".

Justificare: In ceea ce priveste sufletele care ajung in iad, trebuie sa avem in vedere conceptele diferitelor religii din lume. Unele religii sustin ca daca nu esti membru al acelei religii vei ajunge in iad. Din moment ce ce exista mai multe asemenea religii, deducem ca toti oamenii si toate sufletele ajung in iad. Considerand rata de inalta crestere a populatiei Terrei si faptul ca pana la urma toti murim, deducem ca numarul de suflete din iad este in continua crestere.

Daca se analizeaza cu atentie rata de modificare a volumului iadului, se poate constata faptul ca potrivit legii lui Boyle, "pentru ca temperatura si presiunea sa fie constante, raportul dintre masa sufletelor si volumul iadului trebuie sa fie constant".

Ipoteza 1: Daca iadul se dilata mai incet decat se umple cu suflete, sau nu se dilata deloc atunci temperatura si presiunea vor creste pana cand iadul va exploda in bucati;

Ipoteza 2: Daca iadul se dilata mai repede decat se umple cu suflete atunci temperatura si presiunea vor scadea pana cand iadul va ingheta complet.

In aceste conditii se pune problema care poate fi raspunsul corect la intrebarea initiala.

Daca se accepta postulatul oferit de Teresa Banyai, studenta in anul I de la facultatea de litere, potrivit caruia "mai repede ingheata iadul decat sa ma culc cu tine", si avand in vedere faptul ca pana acum eu nu am reusit sa am o relatie sexuala cu ea, atunci ipoteza 2 nu poate fi corecta.

In concluzie: Iadul este exoterm.

Studentul Michal Colb a fost singurul care a luat nota 10.

anunt "angajam vanzatoare". se prezinta o fatuca la interviu,
patronul o ia si-o prelucreaza "fata draga noi nu zicem NU la
clienti, ii aburim, ii amanam".

zis si facut, trece o luna, prinde fata manevra, intra un cetatean:
- manusi aveti?
V: pai, sigur... de care sa fie? de piele? tricotate?
- de piele, normale
V: cu un deget, cu 2 cu 5?
- normale, cu 5.
V: albe, rosii, verzi?
- negre, normale.
V: le purtati la palton sau la jacheta?
- la palton, ca vine iarna
V: domnule eu va propun sa veniti maine cu paltonul, sa vedem ce se
asorteaza.

pleaca omul fericit ca-l bagase cineva in seama, cand sa iasa pe usa
intra vsl-vartej unul hiper-furios c-un colac de buda intr-o mana si
c-o placa de faianta in cealalta:

- cucoana, uite asta-i capacul de la buda, asta-i nuanta la faianta,
curu' ti l-am aratat ieri ACUMA-MI DAI HARTIE IGIENICA????